NovelsAlex Chapter 180: Let Him Think I Died
Chapter 180: Let Him Think I Died
Ariana’s POV
I sat in the cold exam room with my hands shaking in my lap, and the clock on the wall ticked so loud I thought my head would split open.
Dr. Mathew walked in with his clipboard.
It’s been two days since I woke up and found out about my health condition. Asher’s release and Melissa’s death.
A lot has happened in a few days.
But it’s good that things were falling back into place, even though I was dying.
Dante stepped out to get me food, and right now it was just the doctor and me.
"Ariana," he said, sitting down across from me. "How do you feel?"
"Good," I responded, "but I need to talk to you about something."
His brows furrowed before he nodded, ushering me to go ahead.
"Yes?"
"Doc, I need to ask you something, and I need you to just listen before you say no."
He put his clipboard down. "I’m listening."
I took a deep breath. "The surgery. When is it set to begin?"
He looked at his notes. "A week from today. We pushed it back to run more tests, remember? Your heart needs to be stronger before—"
"Okay, but—" I paused, unable to form the right words.
"Talk to me... are you feeling anything off?" He asked in concern.
I shake my head. "No, but I need you to promise me you’ll do it, no questions asked."
He didn’t say anything and just waited.
"During the surgery," I started my voice barely there. "After the surgery, if I do survive, I need you to tell my family, I didn’t make it... I need you to I need you to inject me with the serum."
"What!?" He gasped, but I still continued.
"The one that makes the heart rate drop to almost nothing. The one that makes the person look lifeless, so that it could be believable."
Dr. Mathew sat back in his chair. His face went pale. "Ariana, what are you saying? Can you hear yourself and the drug you’re talking about? It’s for emergency situations only, and it’s dangerous. It’s—"
"I know what it is," I said. "I know it’s dangerous. I know it’ll only work for a few minutes before my heart kicks back in. I know all of that."
"Then why would you ask me to—"
"Because I need him to think I’m gone."
The words came out before I could stop them, and once they were out, I couldn’t take them back.
I didn’t want to take them back.
Dr. Mathew stared at me. "Who?"
"My husband."
"Dante," I said again, softer this time. "I need you to tell him I passed during the surgery. I need you to let him think I died."
"Ariana, that’s—"
"Cruel? I know, I know it’s cruel. I know it’s selfish. I know everything you’re about to say, Doc, but believe me, I’ve said it to myself a hundred times."
"Then why?"
"Because I’m tired," I said. "I’m so tired, Doc. I’m tired of hurting people. I’m tired of watching the people I love go through so much if I could just stop it."
"I’m sorry, Ariana, but what you’re asking me to do could cost me my license, and your family doesn’t deserve that."
"Please." I grabbed his hand. "Please. You don’t understand, everyone I love gets hurt, Dante, my children, my mother, every time I’m in Dante, and I am to get her something, bad happens."
Dr. Matthews shook his head. "That’s not true. You’re not responsible for—"
"I am." My voice was firm. "I am responsible because if I weren’t here, she wouldn’t have a reason to hurt them. If I were gone, they would be safe."
"Ariana, listen to yourself. You’re talking about faking your own death. You’re talking about leaving your children and husband, your family. That’s not the answer. That’s not going to fix anything."
I let go of his hand and leaned back against the pillows. "I know it’s selfish, I know it’s crazy. I know it’s wrong, but I’m tired, Dr. Matthews. I’m so tired of hurting and watching the people I love get hurt. Tired of being the reason they suffer, I can’t do it anymore. I can’t be the cause of their pain."
Dr. Matthews was quiet for a long time.
"You’re going to have the surgery and recover—"
"I don’t want that." The words came out before I could stop them. "I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to hope anymore. I don’t want to put them through any more pain. It’s better this way. They’ll grieve, mourn, and then they’ll move on...They’ll be happy without me."
Dr. Matthews looked at me. "Ariana, I can’t do this. I can’t lie to your husband. I can’t tell him you’re dead when you’re not. It’s not right."
"Please," I whispered the word. "Please, I’m begging you, this is the only way I can protect them. This is the only way I can keep them safe."
Dr. Matthews sighed. He ran his hand through his hair. "There is a drug. It’s used in emergency situations. It slows the heart rate by lowering the blood pressure. It’s risky."
My heart leaped. "You’ll do it? You’ll help me?"
Dr. Matthews nodded slowly. "I’ll help you, but you have to live with the consequences."
"I understand." I squeezed his hand. "I understand the risks. I’m willing to take them. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep my family safe."
"Since your surgery is scheduled for next week," he said. "We’ll do it, then I’ll administer the serum before the procedure. Your heart will slow, and I’ll tell Dante that you didn’t survive, and then I’ll have you moved to a private facility."
A week.
Seven days.
That was all the time I had left.
Seven days to say goodbye to everyone I loved.
"Thank you," I said. "Thank you for doing this. I know it’s not easy. I know it’s not right, but thank you."
Dr. Matthews turned to face me. His eyes were sad. "I hope you know what you’re doing, Ariana. I hope this is the right decision."
I nodded.
Tears spilled down my cheeks. "I know at least they’ll be safe and start a new life with no more trouble and drama. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for them to be happy, even if it’s without me."
Dr. Matthews walked to the door.
He paused and looked back at me. "I’ll make the arrangements."
I closed my eyes again, trying not to let the tears fall and let myself grieve for the life I was leaving behind.
For the family I would never see again.
For the future, I would never have.
A week.
Seven days.
I would make them count.
I would hold my children.
I would kiss my husband, and then I would let them go.
Because that’s what love was.
Sometimes love meant letting go.
Sometimes love meant sacrifice.
Sometimes love meant saying goodbye.
Even when it broke your heart.